So part of my new taking-great-care-of-myself plan is not eating crap. Well, not as much crap.
Over the past few weeks, I've slowly started mentally preparing myself for this change. Because for me, not eating crap is a big change from the way I've been eating for the past while. (And frankly, for my entire childhood, despite the concerted efforts of my mom.)
I started reading up on some different healthy eating philosophies online over the past few weeks. I had been wondering what Paleo was for a while after seeing several Facebook and Pinterest friends mentioning it, so I took a look. And promptly found out that, while I'm sure it is totally and completely amazing for your body, it also involves no grains or dairy. And is therefore a no-go for me.
Then I started looking at some blogs and sites that talk about eating "clean" - meaning nothing processed, nothing with crap, just your basic plant-and-animal-derived foods. This is more like what I will be attempting to get on board with.
I say attempting because here's the thing: I don't really diet. If you give me a restrictive list of can-and-can'ts, I'm just not going to follow it. And then I'll blow it big time and will be back where I started. I believe that everyone has to do what's right for them, so here's my version of *attempting* not to eat crap.
kvh(d)'s Attempt Not To Eat Crap
My main plan is to try and eat simple foods that come pretty directly either from a plant or an animal. I am super proud of my most recent grocery store trip, because I started looking at labels and buying the brands that had the fewest ingredients. Based on my reading, fewer ingredients = more natural. And as we know, more natural = less crap. Also, if I can pronounce all of the ingredients, something tells me that's probably a whole lot better than maltodextrodihydro-something.
However, I'm going to be realistic. There are going to be some non-negotiables. There is some crap I will not give up. It's probably different for everyone, but my non-negotiable crap list is as follows:
1. Light Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice
It's not happening. Ever. I have been drinking Ocean Spray cranberry juice for almost my entire life, and I'm not going to stop now. I don't drink soft drinks at all, so this is my indulgence beverage of choice.
2. Splenda
When I want something to be sweet, I'd like it also not to be full of calories. Plus, Splenda dissolves in iced coffee waaaaay better than sugar.
3. Goat Cheese
I refuse on principle to give up goat cheese. Or really, any cheese. This is going to be an exercise in moderation, as opposed to "let me order a cheese plate as my dinner."
4. Oscar Meyer Center Cut Bacon
Two slices have 40 calories. They are 1 point on Weight Watchers. I know bacon is not "lean protein." Sue me. I could do worse.
5. Wine
First of all, one glass a day supposedly has health benefits. Secondly, it's delicious. And compared to other alcoholic beverages like margaritas, it's totally not that bad.
I feel like most people attempting some sort of nutritional lifestyle change are going to have some version of this list for themselves. What is life, if not a means of enjoying yourself from time to time? The exercise for me is going to be finding the balance that allows me to have enough wiggle room so I don't give up on this whole idea.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Opening a Window for Myself
When I was in middle school, I was really into keeping a "quote book." I would look for and write down quotes and quotes and quotes that I found inspirational. One of the ones I remember loving (but not really understanding) at 12 was, "When God closes a door, he opens a window." It's from The Sound of Music. I think.
Anyway, as you know from my last post, I basically closed a door for myself. I resigned from my teaching job, determined to find something else that would work better for me and where I am right now. I've spent the past five weeks or so on various trips - to the mountains, home to New Orleans, and then three weeks in the UK and Sweden with my family. (Trip post to come soon.) As refreshing and much-needed as those trips were, I am so ready and glad to be back at home with Hubs. I am ready to begin to take really, really good care of myself for the first time in over a year. I'm detailing my plans below - somehow putting them on the internet makes me feel like I'm being held accountable for them.
kvh(d)'s getting-her-sh!t-together, life semi-makeover plan
1. Find a job I love that is less stressful than teaching (aka, any other job)
Status: in progress.
I have put out a few feelers and even had an interview yesterday. Basically, what I want to get into is arts integration - but more on that later. I'm planning to start a new blog with arts integration information and teaching ideas. Get excited!
2. Stop eating crap.
Status: barely in progress.
Last year, Hubs and I trained for a 10k, and between that and eating carefully (I <3 Weight Watchers), I dropped about 15 pounds for our wedding without trying too hard. It is the thinnest and best I have ever looked. I am by no means fat, but I've always had a few extra pounds. Unfortunately when I got to NC, I stopped watching what I ate, especially with Hubs working so much. Stress = no motivation to eat well = muffin top. I now find, quite suddenly over the past 2 months or so actually, that clothes are not fitting. This is entirely my own fault, and I make no excuses. No crazy diets or anything. I'm just going to stop eating crap. More on this later, too - I've been doing lots of research on not eating crap.
3. Get off my behind.
Status: ugh. In progress, but I ain't happy about it.
As I said above, Hubs and I did this 10k last year. Which is totally out of the ordinary for me. It ended up being such a great bonding experience for us, though - something we could do together while we were engaged. Here's the catch: I don't actually like running. I pretty much just did it because he made me (for the record, I asked him to make me), and because it feels good when you finish. Obviously, once Hubs went to work 80 hours a week, the running stopped happening. I mean, once in a blue moon I was like, "Hey! I'm gonna go run the Duke trail!" but honestly, that was like 5 times all year. I really want to look good and feel great. I'm gonna keep it simple, though - do some sort of exercise every day.
4. Make my house look slightly less like a tornado blew through.
Status: I'm sitting here blogging when I have a literal mountain of laundry to do. How do you think it's going?
I am a terrible housewife. Like, awful. Not at all good. As organized as my brain is, that's how messy my surroundings get. I have an amazingly understanding husband who has never once gotten upset at me about the deplorable state of our house... but now that I am not working for the moment, I feel like I have no excuse.
5. Feed my soul.
Status: working on it
Though I am a relatively religious/spiritual person, I am not generally public about it. Suffice it to say that I plan to make spirituality and faith more of a part of my life.
So there you have it. I closed the door on a significant part of my life. It's time to open a window and let a new breeze blow in.
Anyway, as you know from my last post, I basically closed a door for myself. I resigned from my teaching job, determined to find something else that would work better for me and where I am right now. I've spent the past five weeks or so on various trips - to the mountains, home to New Orleans, and then three weeks in the UK and Sweden with my family. (Trip post to come soon.) As refreshing and much-needed as those trips were, I am so ready and glad to be back at home with Hubs. I am ready to begin to take really, really good care of myself for the first time in over a year. I'm detailing my plans below - somehow putting them on the internet makes me feel like I'm being held accountable for them.
kvh(d)'s getting-her-sh!t-together, life semi-makeover plan
1. Find a job I love that is less stressful than teaching (aka, any other job)
Status: in progress.
I have put out a few feelers and even had an interview yesterday. Basically, what I want to get into is arts integration - but more on that later. I'm planning to start a new blog with arts integration information and teaching ideas. Get excited!
2. Stop eating crap.
Status: barely in progress.
Last year, Hubs and I trained for a 10k, and between that and eating carefully (I <3 Weight Watchers), I dropped about 15 pounds for our wedding without trying too hard. It is the thinnest and best I have ever looked. I am by no means fat, but I've always had a few extra pounds. Unfortunately when I got to NC, I stopped watching what I ate, especially with Hubs working so much. Stress = no motivation to eat well = muffin top. I now find, quite suddenly over the past 2 months or so actually, that clothes are not fitting. This is entirely my own fault, and I make no excuses. No crazy diets or anything. I'm just going to stop eating crap. More on this later, too - I've been doing lots of research on not eating crap.
3. Get off my behind.
Status: ugh. In progress, but I ain't happy about it.
As I said above, Hubs and I did this 10k last year. Which is totally out of the ordinary for me. It ended up being such a great bonding experience for us, though - something we could do together while we were engaged. Here's the catch: I don't actually like running. I pretty much just did it because he made me (for the record, I asked him to make me), and because it feels good when you finish. Obviously, once Hubs went to work 80 hours a week, the running stopped happening. I mean, once in a blue moon I was like, "Hey! I'm gonna go run the Duke trail!" but honestly, that was like 5 times all year. I really want to look good and feel great. I'm gonna keep it simple, though - do some sort of exercise every day.
4. Make my house look slightly less like a tornado blew through.
Status: I'm sitting here blogging when I have a literal mountain of laundry to do. How do you think it's going?
I am a terrible housewife. Like, awful. Not at all good. As organized as my brain is, that's how messy my surroundings get. I have an amazingly understanding husband who has never once gotten upset at me about the deplorable state of our house... but now that I am not working for the moment, I feel like I have no excuse.
5. Feed my soul.
Status: working on it
Though I am a relatively religious/spiritual person, I am not generally public about it. Suffice it to say that I plan to make spirituality and faith more of a part of my life.
So there you have it. I closed the door on a significant part of my life. It's time to open a window and let a new breeze blow in.
Friday, June 8, 2012
It's Not You, It's Me.
Dear Teaching,
We've been in a relationship now for four years. We dated casually in college, and then I decided to commit when I took my job in New Orleans. You've been a major part of my adult life. Yesterday was the last day of the school year, and you know what?
We need a break.
Listen, teaching, it's been great. We've had some good times. You have given me the opportunity to work with over 150 third graders over the past four years. They - and you - have brought me more joy and fulfillment than I could have imagined. The adorably misspelled cards and awkwardly drawn pictures I have upstairs in my den are possessions I will cherish for eternity. I am grateful every day for having had the opportunity to mean something to such wonderful kids and their families.
Here's the thing though: our relationship has changed this year. My life has thrown me into a lot of "new"s - new state, new marriage, new school, new friends - and it's just not working out with you anymore. It's not you, it's me. I've got to get my head on straighter and re-prioritize.
Well... it's also a little bit you, though. Teaching, you are one of the most stressful occupations out there. You require me to spend almost all of my time and a good chunk of my money on you. That was cool for a while, but I'm pretty over dealing with paperwork, pacing guides, and testing. I'm a little burned out, and I just need a change for a while.
Another reason we need a break is that I'm really trying to focus on my career right now. Teaching is great, but I'm interested in expanding into other areas too. I'd really like to explore working in arts integration or museum education, and I can't do that if I'm stuck with you all the time. I would love to work at a school being the arts integration facilitator, or be an education curator for a museum, or work for a nonprofit that brings the arts into schools... there are so many possibilities, and I can't find them all out until I get some space.
Look, this isn't a permanent breakup. I know in my heart that you're the job I'm supposed to be with for the long haul. But some of the best information I got from a coworker this year was this: when I asked how he'd managed to stay so passionate about teaching for 30something years, he told me it was because he never taught for more than a few years at a time. When he got burned out, he went and did something else for a while. It's enabled him to stay enthusiastic, engaged, and excited about teaching for longer than I've been alive. I know that if I stick around a few more years feeling the way I've felt this year, that will be it for us. And I don't want that to happen.
Sure, I'm nervous about the future. This is the first time I'm ending one phase of my life without knowing what the next phase will hold. I'm more than nervous, actually. I'm flat-out scared.
But that fear is also sort of weirdly exhilarating. I know that if Hubs and I had stayed in New Orleans, I'd probably still be very happy with you at my old job. But I'm not there, I'm here - and the fact is I need something else right now, something you can't give me. I don't know what that is at the moment, but maybe the not knowing itself is it.
So take care of yourself, teaching. Don't let those budget cuts and state standards get you down. Until we meet again, in another classroom down the road, know that you're the love of my life.
Sincerely,
me
We've been in a relationship now for four years. We dated casually in college, and then I decided to commit when I took my job in New Orleans. You've been a major part of my adult life. Yesterday was the last day of the school year, and you know what?
We need a break.
Listen, teaching, it's been great. We've had some good times. You have given me the opportunity to work with over 150 third graders over the past four years. They - and you - have brought me more joy and fulfillment than I could have imagined. The adorably misspelled cards and awkwardly drawn pictures I have upstairs in my den are possessions I will cherish for eternity. I am grateful every day for having had the opportunity to mean something to such wonderful kids and their families.
Here's the thing though: our relationship has changed this year. My life has thrown me into a lot of "new"s - new state, new marriage, new school, new friends - and it's just not working out with you anymore. It's not you, it's me. I've got to get my head on straighter and re-prioritize.
Well... it's also a little bit you, though. Teaching, you are one of the most stressful occupations out there. You require me to spend almost all of my time and a good chunk of my money on you. That was cool for a while, but I'm pretty over dealing with paperwork, pacing guides, and testing. I'm a little burned out, and I just need a change for a while.
Another reason we need a break is that I'm really trying to focus on my career right now. Teaching is great, but I'm interested in expanding into other areas too. I'd really like to explore working in arts integration or museum education, and I can't do that if I'm stuck with you all the time. I would love to work at a school being the arts integration facilitator, or be an education curator for a museum, or work for a nonprofit that brings the arts into schools... there are so many possibilities, and I can't find them all out until I get some space.
Look, this isn't a permanent breakup. I know in my heart that you're the job I'm supposed to be with for the long haul. But some of the best information I got from a coworker this year was this: when I asked how he'd managed to stay so passionate about teaching for 30something years, he told me it was because he never taught for more than a few years at a time. When he got burned out, he went and did something else for a while. It's enabled him to stay enthusiastic, engaged, and excited about teaching for longer than I've been alive. I know that if I stick around a few more years feeling the way I've felt this year, that will be it for us. And I don't want that to happen.
Sure, I'm nervous about the future. This is the first time I'm ending one phase of my life without knowing what the next phase will hold. I'm more than nervous, actually. I'm flat-out scared.
But that fear is also sort of weirdly exhilarating. I know that if Hubs and I had stayed in New Orleans, I'd probably still be very happy with you at my old job. But I'm not there, I'm here - and the fact is I need something else right now, something you can't give me. I don't know what that is at the moment, but maybe the not knowing itself is it.
So take care of yourself, teaching. Don't let those budget cuts and state standards get you down. Until we meet again, in another classroom down the road, know that you're the love of my life.
Sincerely,
me
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Check out how professional I am!
I'm so excited to be journeying into the wide world of professional teacher-authors!
As any elementary teacher knows, you end up spending many a night culling through the crap on the internet looking for activities and materials for your lessons so you don't have to create everything yourself or buy expensive books. Enter teacherspayteachers.com, a website where teachers can buy and sell materials they've made directly to one another. It's great! You can find so many great resources without spending a ton of money... many items are even free!
My thought about it had been, "God love ya, teacher-authors on TpT - who the heck has time to make stuff that's cute enough to sell to other people?" But as I began to think about it, and look more at the things you can get on the site - I figured I might as well try it.
We are working on generalizing in reading right now, and I was having trouble finding good ideas and lessons for it. I came up with an idea and created my own generalization cards and lessons... so I figured why not put it up on the site as a free item, just to see?
I went ahead and posted it Sunday - and so far 23 people have downloaded it! It was so cool!
I had a little free time tonight (more on that later), so I jazzed up a math game I used today and JUST posted it. I'm starting low - $1 - but hopefully I can make some free money from it. I've read that teachers who really put a lot up, and do a great job, can make thousands of extra dollars a year. (I don't know that I'll be doing it to quite that level... but I make enough of my own stuff that it's worth posting it.)
Check out my "store"!!
On another note... I'm off to pack for my trip home to New Orleans tomorrow. It's been a long time since I took two days off of school in a row, and as always, prepping for the sub was a lot of work. Luckily, though, she was subbing for another teacher today and came by after school to meet me, see my classroom, and ask me questions. I hope my class doesn't eat her alive... she seemed pretty nice.
Honestly, though - at this point I don't care! I am going home for a wedding Hubs is in, and I could not be more excited. The part I'm possibly looking forward to the most is visiting my old school on Friday. It's hard being in a new school where none of the older kids know you. I miss my kiddos so much... I hope it's not overly disruptive when I barge in Friday morning. Luckily many of the 4th and 5th grade teachers are friends of mine :)
Have a great rest of your week - and if you're a teacher and working on geometry, check out my game! I'm super professional and awesome!
As any elementary teacher knows, you end up spending many a night culling through the crap on the internet looking for activities and materials for your lessons so you don't have to create everything yourself or buy expensive books. Enter teacherspayteachers.com, a website where teachers can buy and sell materials they've made directly to one another. It's great! You can find so many great resources without spending a ton of money... many items are even free!
My thought about it had been, "God love ya, teacher-authors on TpT - who the heck has time to make stuff that's cute enough to sell to other people?" But as I began to think about it, and look more at the things you can get on the site - I figured I might as well try it.
We are working on generalizing in reading right now, and I was having trouble finding good ideas and lessons for it. I came up with an idea and created my own generalization cards and lessons... so I figured why not put it up on the site as a free item, just to see?
I went ahead and posted it Sunday - and so far 23 people have downloaded it! It was so cool!
I had a little free time tonight (more on that later), so I jazzed up a math game I used today and JUST posted it. I'm starting low - $1 - but hopefully I can make some free money from it. I've read that teachers who really put a lot up, and do a great job, can make thousands of extra dollars a year. (I don't know that I'll be doing it to quite that level... but I make enough of my own stuff that it's worth posting it.)
Check out my "store"!!
On another note... I'm off to pack for my trip home to New Orleans tomorrow. It's been a long time since I took two days off of school in a row, and as always, prepping for the sub was a lot of work. Luckily, though, she was subbing for another teacher today and came by after school to meet me, see my classroom, and ask me questions. I hope my class doesn't eat her alive... she seemed pretty nice.
Honestly, though - at this point I don't care! I am going home for a wedding Hubs is in, and I could not be more excited. The part I'm possibly looking forward to the most is visiting my old school on Friday. It's hard being in a new school where none of the older kids know you. I miss my kiddos so much... I hope it's not overly disruptive when I barge in Friday morning. Luckily many of the 4th and 5th grade teachers are friends of mine :)
Have a great rest of your week - and if you're a teacher and working on geometry, check out my game! I'm super professional and awesome!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
He Came, He Saw, They Asked
Friday was something of a rough day, following a particularly rough week. Not getting into it, but it's the starting point for my story.
I was checking facebook on my phone during my 12 minutes of freedom lunch break, and I noticed one of Hubs' co-interns had posted about some sort of surprise day off. I texted Hubs to ask whether he too had a day off, but he did not respond. I found out later from another intern wife/teacher that all the interns were apparently partying because Duke had given them the annual "Interns Day Off". (We commiserated about the lack of "teachers day off," although I suppose you could argue that would be "summer.")
Anyway, I was a little annoyed that, knowing what a bad morning I had had, Hubs couldn't even be bothered to take a break from his much-needed fun to text me back. I'm complaining about this during recess to my teammates, when what do I see?
Yup. Hubs coming up from the parking lot, flowers in hand, to visit me at school.
That's right. I suck as a wife.
Anyway, my class was pretty excited to meet him, so instead of our usual post-recess read aloud time, we had "Q&A with Dr. Hubs." Often as a teacher, you are so used to kids saying and asking ridiculous things that you don't even notice it anymore. Hubs, however, was greatly amused by what they had to ask:
-What is your favorite color? (Why do all kids want to know about favorite colors?)
-What kind of doctor are you?
-What year did you marry Mrs. Davis?
-Are you from New Orleans too? (Can you tell we've been discussing Mardi Gras extensively as part of my homesickness social studies curriculum?)
-Have you ever seen anybody die right in front of you?
-We thought you'd be taller. (Sweetie, that's a comment, not a question...)
And finally...
-Do you and Mrs. Davis need some privacy time in the hallway before you leave?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Teacher Black Friday
This morning I had an amazing opportunity. A local nonprofit, Crayons2Calculators, operates a warehouse and invites teachers from Durham public schools to "shop" for free! This weekend, 4 or 5 schools were included on the list. Everything in the warehouse was labeled with "points," and you had 100 to shop with.
When I arrived, 10 minutes before it opened, there was already a line waiting. Now, I've never done Black Friday, and I fortunately didn't deal with a Wedding Dress Blowout Sale when I got married -- so this was a new experience for me. The warehouse was small and crowded, but hey - free stuff! Ain't nobody nowhere who likes free stuff more than teachers.
I got to stock up on many things I've run out of, thank goodness. I swear to you, my kids must eat pencils and cap erasers. I also got dry erase markers, some paper organizers, poster board, watercolor paints (!), binder clips, markers... all for free.
My FAVORITE find, however, was in the "creative corner." This was an area full of fabric scraps, wallpaper samples, carpet remnants, etc. All those items were 20 for 1 point. I'm standing there, looking at the stuff, going "there has to be something I could do with this stuff..." when I had a brilliant idea.
My students use individual white boards every day to start off our math lesson. Up until now, we haven't had any erasers for them. The kids use their hands, sleeves (sorry parents!) or paper towels from the sink. I have been asking parents to send in black socks to use as erasers but have not received a response.
A box of small square carpet samples caught my eye in the warehouse, and I thought, "Hey! The kids could TOTALLY use those little carpet squares to erase with!" 20 for 1 point. Sold.
Anyway, I came away with a bunch of free stuff, which is so greatly appreciated. The staff was so nice and friendly, and it was nice to meet teachers from other schools. It seems like such a little thing - pencils and pens and carpet squares - but to teachers who spend hundreds of their own dollars every year, it's such a huge gesture. Thanks so much to Crayons2Calculators, and to everyone who contributes to classrooms.
When I arrived, 10 minutes before it opened, there was already a line waiting. Now, I've never done Black Friday, and I fortunately didn't deal with a Wedding Dress Blowout Sale when I got married -- so this was a new experience for me. The warehouse was small and crowded, but hey - free stuff! Ain't nobody nowhere who likes free stuff more than teachers.
I got to stock up on many things I've run out of, thank goodness. I swear to you, my kids must eat pencils and cap erasers. I also got dry erase markers, some paper organizers, poster board, watercolor paints (!), binder clips, markers... all for free.
My FAVORITE find, however, was in the "creative corner." This was an area full of fabric scraps, wallpaper samples, carpet remnants, etc. All those items were 20 for 1 point. I'm standing there, looking at the stuff, going "there has to be something I could do with this stuff..." when I had a brilliant idea.
My students use individual white boards every day to start off our math lesson. Up until now, we haven't had any erasers for them. The kids use their hands, sleeves (sorry parents!) or paper towels from the sink. I have been asking parents to send in black socks to use as erasers but have not received a response.
A box of small square carpet samples caught my eye in the warehouse, and I thought, "Hey! The kids could TOTALLY use those little carpet squares to erase with!" 20 for 1 point. Sold.
Anyway, I came away with a bunch of free stuff, which is so greatly appreciated. The staff was so nice and friendly, and it was nice to meet teachers from other schools. It seems like such a little thing - pencils and pens and carpet squares - but to teachers who spend hundreds of their own dollars every year, it's such a huge gesture. Thanks so much to Crayons2Calculators, and to everyone who contributes to classrooms.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Early bird special
Had I been a bird, I would definitely have caught a few worms this morning.
Often when I have a lot going on at school, I have trouble getting back to sleep if I wake up in the middle of the night. Today was no exception.
I woke up around 4:30 - one hour before my normal time - and couldn't stop planning and replanning my day. Finally, I just went ahead and got up.
After getting my work done, I went through my usual morning and realized I still had a few spare minutes.
So I hung my masterpieces from this weekend.
I swear, I'm using nothing but foam core art in my house from now on. No picture hangers! Just stick em up with Command strips!
Often when I have a lot going on at school, I have trouble getting back to sleep if I wake up in the middle of the night. Today was no exception.
I woke up around 4:30 - one hour before my normal time - and couldn't stop planning and replanning my day. Finally, I just went ahead and got up.
After getting my work done, I went through my usual morning and realized I still had a few spare minutes.
So I hung my masterpieces from this weekend.
I swear, I'm using nothing but foam core art in my house from now on. No picture hangers! Just stick em up with Command strips!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
DIY Madness!
I returned to school today after one of the best weekends I've had in a while. Why, you ask? Well...
It was 3 days long. Duh. The Hubs was working the entire weekend, which would normally be a downside, but I really managed to get a lot of things done. One of those things was to take care of some DIY sprucing up of my casa.
First project completion: CORK BOARD!
I have been collecting wine corks for years - both from our own imbibing and from friends and restaurants. I began working on this cork board in July before I started work. It has sporadically been added to until I finally finished it this weekend!
I used hot glue to arrange the corks onto plywood. We will at some point figure out how to get it onto the wall behind our bar. And fun fact! Not all corks are the same size, or even close - it makes fitting them together super fun. Trust me.
Project completion #2: DIY ART!
Hubs and I are renting a fantastic old house that we love. There are high ceilings, wood floors, and lots of character. However, it's taken us a while to get everything looking like real adults live there. Our upstairs hall has this long wall that was just begging for something on it. The problem is that anything that fits a 14-foot-long wall is expensive. I hatched the idea recently (thank you, Pinterest!) to make a series of pieces myself. Downside: I lack any real talent for painting or drawing.
So I decided to create some abstract art reminiscent of Piet Mondrian, whose work I have always found really interesting (and useful in teaching math -- more on that later!). I decided to create a series of five pieces using horizontal and vertical lines and blocks of color. I measured and taped the lines to make sure they were perfectly straight.
I went with blue and yellow because it's one of my favorite color combinations.
I created lines of different widths - 1/4, 1/2, and 3/4 inches, depending on what I felt like. It was really fun planning out where the lines would go! Plus I find painting therapeutic, particularly if it's just filling in a rectangle with a solid color.
By the end of the evening, I had a five-piece series of Mondrian-inspired art. Since I used foam board instead of canvas, everything all together cost about $35. Not bad!!
Looking forward to putting them up on our hall wall tonight and making my house a little homier. I highly recommend doing something a little different when you have some extra time - it's the best pick-me-up I've had in a while.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Resolutions
Happy New Year!
The first semester ended as it has for me in the past: classroom holiday celebration including treats, presents for me, and parent volunteers asking me, "How do you do this all day every day?" (Side note: one mom even told me she'd "probably have to be drunk all the time" to handle my class five days a week. Vindication?)
Anyway, Hubs and I had a not-so-relaxing but oh-so-fun trip home to New Orleans. We went to some fun parties, celebrated and spent time with family, and watched our beloved Saints whip up on our rivals the Falcons before heading back up here. Then I headed up to visit my best friend in Virginia, returned and spent New Year's with our friends here, and even got to watch the last regular-season Saints game today with my fabulous aide from last year (hi, friend!). It's been a much-needed break.
You'll note, however, that "preparing for the upcoming semester in any way, shape, or form" and "cleaning my hot mess of a classroom" were nowhere in my holiday description. That's because I haven't done a damn thing for school, and you know what? I'm ok with it.
New me!
We have a teacher workday tomorrow, and I plan to be super-focused all day to make up for my holiday enjoyment.
In the spirit of ringing in a new year with resolutions, here are a few I'm planning to focus on that relate to school:
1. Take care of myself. This doesn't directly relate to school, but a happier person is a happier teacher. Hubs and I have been working on getting our house in order, so it looks more like we've lived there for 6 months and less like we are squatters and/or hoarders. I'm also back to watching what I eat carefully and exercising. We'll see how that goes.
2. Get school preparation done farther in advance. This has been a goal since I started teaching - hell, since I student taught. I'm never going to be the teacher who's planned 3 weeks ahead of time, but my goal is not to be making things I need the morning I need them.... at least, not very often....
3. Adjust my expectations. This is both for me and for my students. I need to realize that I have the children I have, and I am the teacher I am. I am not going to beat myself up inside if a lesson isn't perfect, and if my class' stupid test scores aren't what another class' are. On the other end of the spectrum, as far as behavior goes, my expectations will be a-changin'. I'm getting serious with that, y'all.
4. Keep my classroom organized. Haha, yeah right. That was just a little comic relief. But seriously, I do have specific goals like "see the bottom of my desk at least bi-weekly" and "put something in a file folder at least once." Small steps.
Anyway, I hope that you are making resolutions too. I think it's a healthy and helpful process to examine areas of our lives that could use tweaking or improving. Don't change too much, though - where would that leave you for 2013?
The first semester ended as it has for me in the past: classroom holiday celebration including treats, presents for me, and parent volunteers asking me, "How do you do this all day every day?" (Side note: one mom even told me she'd "probably have to be drunk all the time" to handle my class five days a week. Vindication?)
Anyway, Hubs and I had a not-so-relaxing but oh-so-fun trip home to New Orleans. We went to some fun parties, celebrated and spent time with family, and watched our beloved Saints whip up on our rivals the Falcons before heading back up here. Then I headed up to visit my best friend in Virginia, returned and spent New Year's with our friends here, and even got to watch the last regular-season Saints game today with my fabulous aide from last year (hi, friend!). It's been a much-needed break.
You'll note, however, that "preparing for the upcoming semester in any way, shape, or form" and "cleaning my hot mess of a classroom" were nowhere in my holiday description. That's because I haven't done a damn thing for school, and you know what? I'm ok with it.
New me!
We have a teacher workday tomorrow, and I plan to be super-focused all day to make up for my holiday enjoyment.
In the spirit of ringing in a new year with resolutions, here are a few I'm planning to focus on that relate to school:
1. Take care of myself. This doesn't directly relate to school, but a happier person is a happier teacher. Hubs and I have been working on getting our house in order, so it looks more like we've lived there for 6 months and less like we are squatters and/or hoarders. I'm also back to watching what I eat carefully and exercising. We'll see how that goes.
2. Get school preparation done farther in advance. This has been a goal since I started teaching - hell, since I student taught. I'm never going to be the teacher who's planned 3 weeks ahead of time, but my goal is not to be making things I need the morning I need them.... at least, not very often....
3. Adjust my expectations. This is both for me and for my students. I need to realize that I have the children I have, and I am the teacher I am. I am not going to beat myself up inside if a lesson isn't perfect, and if my class' stupid test scores aren't what another class' are. On the other end of the spectrum, as far as behavior goes, my expectations will be a-changin'. I'm getting serious with that, y'all.
4. Keep my classroom organized. Haha, yeah right. That was just a little comic relief. But seriously, I do have specific goals like "see the bottom of my desk at least bi-weekly" and "put something in a file folder at least once." Small steps.
Anyway, I hope that you are making resolutions too. I think it's a healthy and helpful process to examine areas of our lives that could use tweaking or improving. Don't change too much, though - where would that leave you for 2013?
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Winter Art
So I feel like my blog is usually just me rambling and/or b*tching about whatever I feel like... and I've decided it's time I actually show you something I've done in my classroom.
My old school in New Orleans is a charter school with an arts-based curriculum - which means that we had a lot of time to work on fantastic art projects. One of my favorites was our winter tree/snowman artwork. I decided to share it with my team at my new school.
The kids use crayon to complete their winter scene, then paint over the entire background with watercolors. Then - and here's the wow factor - you sprinkle salt on the picture. The salt absorbs the water where it touches, and it creates a "snowstorm" effect. Pretty cool, huh?
I apparently neglected to realize that this project only works on watercolor paper. Unfortunately several teammates did the project with so-so results using cardstock and drawing paper. (Sorry, guys!) I trekked out to the store and picked up theincredibly expensive so worth it supplies to complete our work. I think they came out well:
Merry merry!
My old school in New Orleans is a charter school with an arts-based curriculum - which means that we had a lot of time to work on fantastic art projects. One of my favorites was our winter tree/snowman artwork. I decided to share it with my team at my new school.
The kids use crayon to complete their winter scene, then paint over the entire background with watercolors. Then - and here's the wow factor - you sprinkle salt on the picture. The salt absorbs the water where it touches, and it creates a "snowstorm" effect. Pretty cool, huh?
I apparently neglected to realize that this project only works on watercolor paper. Unfortunately several teammates did the project with so-so results using cardstock and drawing paper. (Sorry, guys!) I trekked out to the store and picked up the
Merry merry!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The Library Fairy
Something extraordinary happened in my classroom.
Yesterday, when my kids went to their enrichment block in the media center, I noticed that my library corner - something I take great pride in - looked a hot mess. The stuffed animals, bean bags, and pillows were strewn about willy-nilly, there were papers and pencils left on the floor, and even - gasp - books overturned on the floor getting wrinkled and probably stepped on by 8-year-old feet.
Not ok.
Not when I have spent dozens of hours and probably thousands of dollars building up a library of books so that my kiddos will have enough to read every day.
I had a meeting to go to, so I had to leave the library corner the way it was. In general, leaving a mess behind with a close of my classroom door is not a problem for me. But this time, I was not happy about it.
Cut to this morning.
When I entered my classroom, what should I find but my library corner roped off with notes reading that the Library Fairy had closed the library until further notice because it was not being respected.
Well, obviously I took this very seriously with my students. I explained to them when they arrived that this was how I found everything this morning, and I was as mystified as they were. It prompted a very important and long overdue discussion about respect for our classroom materials.
They have been mistreating the library corner, so it is closed.
They have been tearing up cap erasers and throwing them at each other, so there are no more cap erasers in the cap eraser basket.
They have been too noisy when they line up, so they will practice silence for the beginning of lunch.
I am sorry, but I am done. It is December, and they are in third grade. I don't expect them to act like miniature grownups, but I do expect them to pick up after themselves and take care of the materials that the school, myself, and their parents bought them. You should have seen the look on their faces when I showed them the book about Degas that I found upside down with bent pages on the floor and told them that it cost me twenty dollars during my trip to New York this summer. I explained that I am not rich, but that I am happy to buy them all the books I can so long as they treat them with respect.
Thank goodness that Library Fairy's got my back. ;)
Yesterday, when my kids went to their enrichment block in the media center, I noticed that my library corner - something I take great pride in - looked a hot mess. The stuffed animals, bean bags, and pillows were strewn about willy-nilly, there were papers and pencils left on the floor, and even - gasp - books overturned on the floor getting wrinkled and probably stepped on by 8-year-old feet.
Not ok.
Not when I have spent dozens of hours and probably thousands of dollars building up a library of books so that my kiddos will have enough to read every day.
I had a meeting to go to, so I had to leave the library corner the way it was. In general, leaving a mess behind with a close of my classroom door is not a problem for me. But this time, I was not happy about it.
Cut to this morning.
When I entered my classroom, what should I find but my library corner roped off with notes reading that the Library Fairy had closed the library until further notice because it was not being respected.
Well, obviously I took this very seriously with my students. I explained to them when they arrived that this was how I found everything this morning, and I was as mystified as they were. It prompted a very important and long overdue discussion about respect for our classroom materials.
They have been mistreating the library corner, so it is closed.
They have been tearing up cap erasers and throwing them at each other, so there are no more cap erasers in the cap eraser basket.
They have been too noisy when they line up, so they will practice silence for the beginning of lunch.
I am sorry, but I am done. It is December, and they are in third grade. I don't expect them to act like miniature grownups, but I do expect them to pick up after themselves and take care of the materials that the school, myself, and their parents bought them. You should have seen the look on their faces when I showed them the book about Degas that I found upside down with bent pages on the floor and told them that it cost me twenty dollars during my trip to New York this summer. I explained that I am not rich, but that I am happy to buy them all the books I can so long as they treat them with respect.
Thank goodness that Library Fairy's got my back. ;)
Monday, December 5, 2011
You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Cry...
Oh, the holidays. It's a really fun time to be an elementary school teacher.
And I don't even mean that sarcastically.
Seriously, guys - how many of you with regular jobs out there get to make holiday crafts and read Christmas books at work?
So anyway. I'm not one of those crazy-obsessed-my-entire-month-of-lesson-plans-is-holiday-themed teachers. But today, I decided to read a short Christmas-themed picture book to demonstrate "Reader's Thoughts." That is, we read the book, and every time someone had a thought/question/opinion/epiphany about the book in any way, we stopped and talked about it. I'm trying to get them to think more deeply when they read, so this was our first step.
I chose to read Olive the Other Reindeer, which is a precious book about a dog who thinks she's one of Santa's reindeer. I suggest you give it a look.
Anyway, when discussing what we thought the genre was, my friend - we'll call her Humbug for the sake of this story - says, "Well this book obviously has to be a fantasy because Santa's not real."
Y'all. My heart sunk to my toes.
Literally one of my biggest fears is a child discovering that there's no Santa in my classroom. (When I was about 10 and I found out, I was devastated, and I told a family friend who was a few years younger. To this day I feel it is one of the most shameful things I've ever done.) Children have such a short span of childhood nowadays; I can't get over what my students know about (s-e-x stuff and everything!), watch (Paranormal Activity!), and play (Call of Duty!). The thought of them losing one of the few sources of wonder and magic in the world while in my classroom is horrifying.
And I'm not naive. I know that in the third grade, it's probably half-and-half as far as believers go. However, I am not about to let my non-believers ruin it for the rest. So after Humbug came out with that, there was fortunately a backlash of, *gasp* YES HE IS! followed by a reply from several kids of NO HE'S NOT! My blood pressure rose steadily after a few back and forths until I could finally get their attention.
I ended the discussion with the following: "Ahem. For your information, I believe very deeply in Santa Claus, and I hope you all do too. Because you know, you run the risk of no presents if you choose not to believe." That seemed to end the discussion definitively.
Oh! But I forgot! HIGHLIGHT of the discussion. One little boy - who is in fact very into his church, so I know his family is very Christian - said that he did not like Santa Claus. (Side note: WHAT?!?) Another kid replied, "You don't like Santa? So you don't like Christmas? You're Jewish!" And he kept telling the child (who is African-American, in fact) that he was Jewish. Apparently the only part of our "Let's talk about all the December holidays" discussion he remembered was that Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas. To him this translated to all people who don't like Christmas are Jewish. We had an interesting chat in the hallway.
Anyway, the point of my story is this: I went through my teenage period where I was annoyed that I had to pretend to believe in Santa because my baby brother is almost 12 years younger than I am. I rolled my eyes and was all, "ugh. How long am I going to have to put up with this?" I swear, in hindsight I don't know how my mother didn't either slap me or give me coal in my stocking.
Now that I've seen much more clearly how fast these kids are expected to grow up, it's clear to me that kids need Santa.
Oh -- and don't be this teacher.
And I don't even mean that sarcastically.
Seriously, guys - how many of you with regular jobs out there get to make holiday crafts and read Christmas books at work?
So anyway. I'm not one of those crazy-obsessed-my-entire-month-of-lesson-plans-is-holiday-themed teachers. But today, I decided to read a short Christmas-themed picture book to demonstrate "Reader's Thoughts." That is, we read the book, and every time someone had a thought/question/opinion/epiphany about the book in any way, we stopped and talked about it. I'm trying to get them to think more deeply when they read, so this was our first step.
I chose to read Olive the Other Reindeer, which is a precious book about a dog who thinks she's one of Santa's reindeer. I suggest you give it a look.
Anyway, when discussing what we thought the genre was, my friend - we'll call her Humbug for the sake of this story - says, "Well this book obviously has to be a fantasy because Santa's not real."
Y'all. My heart sunk to my toes.
Literally one of my biggest fears is a child discovering that there's no Santa in my classroom. (When I was about 10 and I found out, I was devastated, and I told a family friend who was a few years younger. To this day I feel it is one of the most shameful things I've ever done.) Children have such a short span of childhood nowadays; I can't get over what my students know about (s-e-x stuff and everything!), watch (Paranormal Activity!), and play (Call of Duty!). The thought of them losing one of the few sources of wonder and magic in the world while in my classroom is horrifying.
And I'm not naive. I know that in the third grade, it's probably half-and-half as far as believers go. However, I am not about to let my non-believers ruin it for the rest. So after Humbug came out with that, there was fortunately a backlash of, *gasp* YES HE IS! followed by a reply from several kids of NO HE'S NOT! My blood pressure rose steadily after a few back and forths until I could finally get their attention.
I ended the discussion with the following: "Ahem. For your information, I believe very deeply in Santa Claus, and I hope you all do too. Because you know, you run the risk of no presents if you choose not to believe." That seemed to end the discussion definitively.
Oh! But I forgot! HIGHLIGHT of the discussion. One little boy - who is in fact very into his church, so I know his family is very Christian - said that he did not like Santa Claus. (Side note: WHAT?!?) Another kid replied, "You don't like Santa? So you don't like Christmas? You're Jewish!" And he kept telling the child (who is African-American, in fact) that he was Jewish. Apparently the only part of our "Let's talk about all the December holidays" discussion he remembered was that Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas. To him this translated to all people who don't like Christmas are Jewish. We had an interesting chat in the hallway.
Anyway, the point of my story is this: I went through my teenage period where I was annoyed that I had to pretend to believe in Santa because my baby brother is almost 12 years younger than I am. I rolled my eyes and was all, "ugh. How long am I going to have to put up with this?" I swear, in hindsight I don't know how my mother didn't either slap me or give me coal in my stocking.
Now that I've seen much more clearly how fast these kids are expected to grow up, it's clear to me that kids need Santa.
Oh -- and don't be this teacher.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thankful
Sometimes people seem to know just what you need.
As you may have guessed from my posts the past few weeks, I have been in something of a slump. I've been homesick and frustrated with myself and the way things are going at school. Things have happened that have even caused me to doubt myself and whether I should continue teaching.
Thankfully, I had the opportunity to go home to New Orleans for the Thanksgiving holiday. I got to see my friends, spend time with my family, start Christmas shopping at my favorite local boutiques, and relax. One highlight of my trip was a coffee date with two colleagues and good friends from my last school. One of them, who teaches 4th and 5th grade - and consequently my former students - does a Thanksgiving project each year. She asks her kiddos to choose a staff member from our school for whom they are thankful and write a letter to them explaining why.
Last year, I received letters from a handful of children. They were wonderful. This year, I received more. These letters basically saved me from self-doubt and reminded me that, regardless of the day-to-day grind, what I am doing matters to the students I have.
A sampling from the 14 letters I received:
Thank you for all of the things you've taught me. You have been so nice to everyone, and you have always made sure that people can learn and catch up on things that they need to learn, but haven't.
I am thankful for having you as a teacher. I like your funnyness. I also like you fun projects! Finally I like that you have a big smile.
You would always make me feel better when I was feeling bad.
You are my favorite teacher because you always made me happy by caring about people. I could never imagine someone not liking you. In second grade I didn't know much about S.S. and in fourth grade I know evrything because you taught it to me.
I want to thank you for teaching me multiplication and for being a great teacher! Also I appriciate that when I finished one of my multiplication tests, you gave me a high-five. That made me feel really good.
You were a totaly awsome, funny, nice, cool teacher. You made that year awsome, thank you.
I am thankful for the fun we had in class. Your laugh is like a cool brees (yes, spelled like Drew Brees! highlight!) on a hot day. I miss you so much!
I have a subject and predicate test today, and I would fail it if you hadn't taught me all about subjects and predicates.
Thanks for being my teacher. The book discussions were unbeatable!
You are still my favorite teacher, because you make someone feel good in side.
I hope you stay awesome. I hope you have a great time in North Carolina.
We started learning a ton of new things in third grade, and nobody could've taught it better than you.
I remember when I was in your class. You taught me most of the things I know today. In your class I was sad at 3:15. All good things have to come to an end though, right?
I hope everything's fine in N. Carolina. Are you teaching? I hope peeps are lucky enough to have you in 3rd grade.
I am so thankful to have wonderful children to teach who build me up and teach me every day. And I am especially thankful for my colleague who made sure her kids show their appreciation.
As we go into the holidays, I am trying to remember every day to be positive and remember why I do what I do.
And it has nothing to do with test scores, reading levels, or state standards. Happy Sunday.
As you may have guessed from my posts the past few weeks, I have been in something of a slump. I've been homesick and frustrated with myself and the way things are going at school. Things have happened that have even caused me to doubt myself and whether I should continue teaching.
Thankfully, I had the opportunity to go home to New Orleans for the Thanksgiving holiday. I got to see my friends, spend time with my family, start Christmas shopping at my favorite local boutiques, and relax. One highlight of my trip was a coffee date with two colleagues and good friends from my last school. One of them, who teaches 4th and 5th grade - and consequently my former students - does a Thanksgiving project each year. She asks her kiddos to choose a staff member from our school for whom they are thankful and write a letter to them explaining why.
Last year, I received letters from a handful of children. They were wonderful. This year, I received more. These letters basically saved me from self-doubt and reminded me that, regardless of the day-to-day grind, what I am doing matters to the students I have.
A sampling from the 14 letters I received:
Thank you for all of the things you've taught me. You have been so nice to everyone, and you have always made sure that people can learn and catch up on things that they need to learn, but haven't.
I am thankful for having you as a teacher. I like your funnyness. I also like you fun projects! Finally I like that you have a big smile.
You would always make me feel better when I was feeling bad.
You are my favorite teacher because you always made me happy by caring about people. I could never imagine someone not liking you. In second grade I didn't know much about S.S. and in fourth grade I know evrything because you taught it to me.
I want to thank you for teaching me multiplication and for being a great teacher! Also I appriciate that when I finished one of my multiplication tests, you gave me a high-five. That made me feel really good.
You were a totaly awsome, funny, nice, cool teacher. You made that year awsome, thank you.
I am thankful for the fun we had in class. Your laugh is like a cool brees (yes, spelled like Drew Brees! highlight!) on a hot day. I miss you so much!
I have a subject and predicate test today, and I would fail it if you hadn't taught me all about subjects and predicates.
Thanks for being my teacher. The book discussions were unbeatable!
You are still my favorite teacher, because you make someone feel good in side.
I hope you stay awesome. I hope you have a great time in North Carolina.
We started learning a ton of new things in third grade, and nobody could've taught it better than you.
I remember when I was in your class. You taught me most of the things I know today. In your class I was sad at 3:15. All good things have to come to an end though, right?
I hope everything's fine in N. Carolina. Are you teaching? I hope peeps are lucky enough to have you in 3rd grade.
I am so thankful to have wonderful children to teach who build me up and teach me every day. And I am especially thankful for my colleague who made sure her kids show their appreciation.
As we go into the holidays, I am trying to remember every day to be positive and remember why I do what I do.
And it has nothing to do with test scores, reading levels, or state standards. Happy Sunday.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Sunday, Sunday
One of the downsides of being a teacher (I know, opposite of the blog's title... go with me here) is that your work basically never ends. No matter how early you get there (I arrive before the custodians some mornings) or how late you stay, you are never. finished. There is always one more set of papers to grade, a new math game to cut out, or more teacher sh*t to find on the internet. (I'm looking at you, teammate...)
We teachers tend to obsess. I, however, am also a procrastinator. I am in complete awe of my colleagues who can plan weeks ahead of time, or who get everything done for the following week BEFORE Friday afternoon so they don't have to do anything that weekend. I think I've done that once. It was awesome, but not awesome enough for me to manage to ever do it again.
As a result, I've come to feel about Sundays much as I did when I was in middle and high school. AKA, oh crap, I have a TON of work to do tonight before school tomorrow.
When I was teaching in New Orleans, I got into a great routine. I went to a fantastic local coffeehouse or over to my teacher bestie's house and we got everything done relatively early in the day, leaving me with the afternoon and evening to quell the impending sense of Monday doom. (I'm an anxious person. Sue me.)
Here, I have done that a fair amount, but I've yet to get into a really solid Sunday planning routine. Why, you ask? Two reasons:
1. Hubs has been working 6 days a week, with Sunday as his only day off. So I've been trying to free Sunday up to spend with him. This means I've been attempting to plan on Saturday. You can imagine how well that's been going.
2. Football season. I am a crazed New Orleans Saints fan. We signed up for NFL SundayTicket specifically so we did not miss a single game. Most of the games have been at 1 p.m., which completely throws a wrench into my day, as there is not enough time beforehand to finish planning, and not enough motivation afterwards to get back to it.
Today, however, I feel great. Hubs is off to pick up breakfast, we are actually making it to church (something I plan to be much better about), the Saints are at the top of their division and have a bye week, and I only have 2 days of school this week.
I am so excited to actually enjoy my Sunday. Who Dat.
We teachers tend to obsess. I, however, am also a procrastinator. I am in complete awe of my colleagues who can plan weeks ahead of time, or who get everything done for the following week BEFORE Friday afternoon so they don't have to do anything that weekend. I think I've done that once. It was awesome, but not awesome enough for me to manage to ever do it again.
As a result, I've come to feel about Sundays much as I did when I was in middle and high school. AKA, oh crap, I have a TON of work to do tonight before school tomorrow.
When I was teaching in New Orleans, I got into a great routine. I went to a fantastic local coffeehouse or over to my teacher bestie's house and we got everything done relatively early in the day, leaving me with the afternoon and evening to quell the impending sense of Monday doom. (I'm an anxious person. Sue me.)
Here, I have done that a fair amount, but I've yet to get into a really solid Sunday planning routine. Why, you ask? Two reasons:
1. Hubs has been working 6 days a week, with Sunday as his only day off. So I've been trying to free Sunday up to spend with him. This means I've been attempting to plan on Saturday. You can imagine how well that's been going.
2. Football season. I am a crazed New Orleans Saints fan. We signed up for NFL SundayTicket specifically so we did not miss a single game. Most of the games have been at 1 p.m., which completely throws a wrench into my day, as there is not enough time beforehand to finish planning, and not enough motivation afterwards to get back to it.
Today, however, I feel great. Hubs is off to pick up breakfast, we are actually making it to church (something I plan to be much better about), the Saints are at the top of their division and have a bye week, and I only have 2 days of school this week.
I am so excited to actually enjoy my Sunday. Who Dat.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Root Cause
Today, I had an average day, capped off by a really crappy round of test scores from the seemingly 1029494th district assessment my kids have taken. I don't want to get into it - there are flaws in the test, many of the items are too difficult in my opinion, I have kids with attention issues and great academic need, it's supposed to take 45 minutes and takes 90, yada yada. It's not a valuable use of your time to hear my rant on the subject. And I'm really tired of talking about it.
The reason I'm telling you about the negative end to the day is to put into perspective one valuable, meaningful moment I had with a student today.
This boy in my class is a freakin' darling. He is bright, polite, kind to others, careful in his work (and if you're a teacher you know how rare that is!), and just all around a stand-up kid. Lately, however, he's been really struggling with his behavior. Talking all the time, making noises, unable to control his body when he moves from place to place, even repeating what I say in a funny voice and getting into issues with other kids at his table. He always apologizes profusely, promises to change his choices, and then 5 minutes later is making mouth noises again.
I like this kid. A lot. The thing is, there's only so much I can take. Today, I decided some info needed to go home. I wrote his mom a long note describing how fantastic her kid is but that he's been really struggling. I sat down with him so he could read the note over with me, to make sure he agreed with everything I'd said and wouldn't be blindsided when he got home.
What ended up coming out from him was that his parents haven't been getting along, and his dad is "staying with his friend" for a while. I'm not sure exactly what's up, but it sounds like his dad "made a mistake" (his words) and his mom is worried about paying the bills by herself.
And all I could think was, I'd be a basket case too, kid.
It put his behavior change so clearly into perspective for me, and I let him know that. And here's what else I told him: it's normal for stress or problems in your life to affect your behavior at school.
Um, hi. Can I please take some of my own medicine?
I myself have encountered a great deal of change in the past few months - the new marriage and 900 mile move alone are plenty. On top of it, I don't get to see my husband nearly enough and don't really like being alone. Add the stress of helping start up a new school with a very different and much needier population than I had at my lastpie-in-the-sky land school and you have a whole heaping pile of homesick plopped into an already anxiety-filled brain. Much as I consciously attempt to put that aside while teaching, I know that it has seeped in, and I have not been my best self as of late.
Wow. The guilt of knowing that is as crushing as the relief of admitting it is cathartic.
I keep trying to think of a concise way to end this post, but it keeps morphing into another long, tangential essay. Here's my final attempt:
All I know to do at this point is keep on truckin'. Try to find the upsides, take care of business the best I can, and try to release control and accept that this is where I am supposed to be right now. And remember that, just like me, my kids are probably crazy for a reason.
The reason I'm telling you about the negative end to the day is to put into perspective one valuable, meaningful moment I had with a student today.
This boy in my class is a freakin' darling. He is bright, polite, kind to others, careful in his work (and if you're a teacher you know how rare that is!), and just all around a stand-up kid. Lately, however, he's been really struggling with his behavior. Talking all the time, making noises, unable to control his body when he moves from place to place, even repeating what I say in a funny voice and getting into issues with other kids at his table. He always apologizes profusely, promises to change his choices, and then 5 minutes later is making mouth noises again.
I like this kid. A lot. The thing is, there's only so much I can take. Today, I decided some info needed to go home. I wrote his mom a long note describing how fantastic her kid is but that he's been really struggling. I sat down with him so he could read the note over with me, to make sure he agreed with everything I'd said and wouldn't be blindsided when he got home.
What ended up coming out from him was that his parents haven't been getting along, and his dad is "staying with his friend" for a while. I'm not sure exactly what's up, but it sounds like his dad "made a mistake" (his words) and his mom is worried about paying the bills by herself.
And all I could think was, I'd be a basket case too, kid.
It put his behavior change so clearly into perspective for me, and I let him know that. And here's what else I told him: it's normal for stress or problems in your life to affect your behavior at school.
Um, hi. Can I please take some of my own medicine?
I myself have encountered a great deal of change in the past few months - the new marriage and 900 mile move alone are plenty. On top of it, I don't get to see my husband nearly enough and don't really like being alone. Add the stress of helping start up a new school with a very different and much needier population than I had at my last
Wow. The guilt of knowing that is as crushing as the relief of admitting it is cathartic.
I keep trying to think of a concise way to end this post, but it keeps morphing into another long, tangential essay. Here's my final attempt:
All I know to do at this point is keep on truckin'. Try to find the upsides, take care of business the best I can, and try to release control and accept that this is where I am supposed to be right now. And remember that, just like me, my kids are probably crazy for a reason.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Little Amnesiacs
One of the hilarious things about being around kids all day is their extremely short memories. Obviously, this has its negative side (What do you mean you don't remember how to add? We learned that last quarter!) - but really overall, its incredibly beneficial to teachers.
Case in point:
I've expressed in previous posts how - ahem - challenging my kids this year can be behaviorally. Specifically, they don't listen or stop talking. Like, ever. By the end of the school day (3:45 p.m. is waaaay too late, btw) I am hanging on to the last minute shred of patience left in my body. Inevitably, every once in a while, one child gets to be the lucky straw that breaks this here camel's back. It might be, "Wait, what do we have to do?" or "I left my folder at home." Or any of the other 192945394093 things I swear my people do just to irk me.
I confess. There are days I lose it. I get loud and lecture the class at the top of my lungs - making sure to work some praise for the friends doing the right thing in there somewhere - and basically do everything I swore in ed school I would never do. There may be screaming involved.
I always get this knot in my stomach afterwards. I feel incredibly regretful and am sure that I've ruined my relationship with my class. I just know that from now on, I'm going to be the teacher that the students and parents dread getting. I'm the mean teacher and I've crushed all their little spirits and am going straight down to hell.
And you know what happens, fifteen minutes later? The former hellion who caused my meltdown hugs me as I walk out the door, parting with, "I love being in your class. You're the best teacher!"
And I'm like... come again?
So it's great from that standpoint. But sadly, the students not only have a short memory for my behavior; they also have a very limited ability to recall their own. Often the kids who get on your nerves all the dang time haul off and give you things. (You get a lot of adorable handmade presents from elementary school kids. And you have to keep them all and display them somewhere near your desk.)
Here's the thing, though - and I'm going to sound like such a b!tch - I don't want your artwork, small child who demands my attention 75 times per hour. Please skip the lopsided flower or the three-legged horse picture. Next time you want to show how much you appreciate me, listen to what I say. The first time I say it.
Case in point:
I've expressed in previous posts how - ahem - challenging my kids this year can be behaviorally. Specifically, they don't listen or stop talking. Like, ever. By the end of the school day (3:45 p.m. is waaaay too late, btw) I am hanging on to the last minute shred of patience left in my body. Inevitably, every once in a while, one child gets to be the lucky straw that breaks this here camel's back. It might be, "Wait, what do we have to do?" or "I left my folder at home." Or any of the other 192945394093 things I swear my people do just to irk me.
I confess. There are days I lose it. I get loud and lecture the class at the top of my lungs - making sure to work some praise for the friends doing the right thing in there somewhere - and basically do everything I swore in ed school I would never do. There may be screaming involved.
I always get this knot in my stomach afterwards. I feel incredibly regretful and am sure that I've ruined my relationship with my class. I just know that from now on, I'm going to be the teacher that the students and parents dread getting. I'm the mean teacher and I've crushed all their little spirits and am going straight down to hell.
And you know what happens, fifteen minutes later? The former hellion who caused my meltdown hugs me as I walk out the door, parting with, "I love being in your class. You're the best teacher!"
And I'm like... come again?
So it's great from that standpoint. But sadly, the students not only have a short memory for my behavior; they also have a very limited ability to recall their own. Often the kids who get on your nerves all the dang time haul off and give you things. (You get a lot of adorable handmade presents from elementary school kids. And you have to keep them all and display them somewhere near your desk.)
Here's the thing, though - and I'm going to sound like such a b!tch - I don't want your artwork, small child who demands my attention 75 times per hour. Please skip the lopsided flower or the three-legged horse picture. Next time you want to show how much you appreciate me, listen to what I say. The first time I say it.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Honesty is the Best Policy
Cliche but true.
Anyone who is an elementary school teacher will tell you that you spend at least as much time teaching social/behavior/life skills as you do academic ones. About a hundred times a day, I am forced to utter something to the effect of, "Poking someone when they asked you not to is not kind" or "It's not ok to tell someone that their mama is ugly."
This class at my new school far surpasses my previous classes in their need for lessons on appropriate social interactions. They are just in each other's business. all. the time. We can't have a single 5-minute mini-lesson on the carpet without at least 3 people going, "Stopp touchinggg meeee!!" in that obnoxious whiny child voice. I end up spending tons of extra time each day discussing how to deal with other people that you may or may not like. It's exhausting.
This behavioral teaching extends beyond just interpersonal skills, too. Take the title of this post. I make it very clear to my class that I value truth-telling. If you take responsibility for your mistakes, then we make up for it and move on. If you lie and deny, we have a much bigger problem.
The lie-and-deny business is the worst -- especially when it involves the blame game, its even more annoying cousin. I'll say to one student, "Johnny, were you talking?" and instead of just replying yes, the first thing out of his mouth is, "Well Sally was talking too!" And I'm like, I didn't ask you what Sally was doing, I asked you to own up to YOUR behavior.
Anyway. Cut to today. We were doing a whole group writing mini-lesson on the carpet after recess. I noticed a girl in my class (whom I have nicknamed Miss Thang in my head because she has some serious attitude and disrespect issues) chewing gum. Now, come on. I'm a professional educator. I can spot gum a mile away. So I asked her, "Miss Thang, are you chewing gum?" To which she merely shook her head in an incredibly guilty manner. So I said, "Open your mouth." I got a sheepish look and then she headed for the trash can to spit it out. I sent her into the hallway and spoke to her for a minute calmly about the fact that gum wasn't that big a deal, but lying was.
You'd think it would be over at this point. You'd think her friend who was ALSO chewing gum would take the opportunity while I'm not in the room to spit hers out.
Not so.
Five minutes later, I'm talking to Miss Thang #2 about her writing piece. I notice her chewing motion, so I ask her if she has gum. She shakes her head no. I send her into the hallway so we can talk about the lying. While in the hallway, she denies to me six times that she has gum in her mouth, despite the fact that I can see it and smell the minty freshness coming from her mouth. Only when I begin walking her to the office does she relent. (Thank goodness the special ed teacher arrived so I could follow through right away!)
And by relent, I mean descend into a full-out temper tantrum. She is crying hysterically, begging, pleading with me not to bring her to the office. But as far as I'm concerned, if you're going to lie to me six times about something as stupid as gum in your mouth, it's too late.
Anyway, I had to literally drag her down the hallway, fighting with me and continuing her histrionics. I'm sure any other teachers or adults in the hallway were ready to call social services on me. But honestly, I was determined to get her to the office to talk to our fantastic principal intern for a few reasons:
1. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.
2. Lying is unacceptable. She should have made the choice to tell the truth BEFORE there were consequences attached to lying.
3. I wanted her to see that a talk in the office is not as bad as she made it out to be.
So anyway. I finally got her close to the principal intern's office before she collapsed in a hyperventilating heap on the floor. In the end, the principal intern and I talked to her about her choices and she calmed down. The day went on as usual.
The point is, as teachers we often try to model the appropriate behavior or thinking strategy we want our students to exhibit. Today's exhibition by Miss Thang #2 got me thinking about honesty when it comes to adults vs. kids.
Frankly, the only difference is that adults learn when it's appropriate to lie ("Your new haircut looks great!"), whereas kids are too honest when they should lie ("You have a squishy belly, teacher!"). Adults lie all the time - "I totally sent you that email! Didn't you get it?" "Oh, I wish I could help you with that, but I'm busy that night" - but maybe we shouldn't do that so much.
Next time you get caught for something you did or didn't do, just do what I ask my students to do.
Anyone who is an elementary school teacher will tell you that you spend at least as much time teaching social/behavior/life skills as you do academic ones. About a hundred times a day, I am forced to utter something to the effect of, "Poking someone when they asked you not to is not kind" or "It's not ok to tell someone that their mama is ugly."
This class at my new school far surpasses my previous classes in their need for lessons on appropriate social interactions. They are just in each other's business. all. the time. We can't have a single 5-minute mini-lesson on the carpet without at least 3 people going, "Stopp touchinggg meeee!!" in that obnoxious whiny child voice. I end up spending tons of extra time each day discussing how to deal with other people that you may or may not like. It's exhausting.
This behavioral teaching extends beyond just interpersonal skills, too. Take the title of this post. I make it very clear to my class that I value truth-telling. If you take responsibility for your mistakes, then we make up for it and move on. If you lie and deny, we have a much bigger problem.
The lie-and-deny business is the worst -- especially when it involves the blame game, its even more annoying cousin. I'll say to one student, "Johnny, were you talking?" and instead of just replying yes, the first thing out of his mouth is, "Well Sally was talking too!" And I'm like, I didn't ask you what Sally was doing, I asked you to own up to YOUR behavior.
Anyway. Cut to today. We were doing a whole group writing mini-lesson on the carpet after recess. I noticed a girl in my class (whom I have nicknamed Miss Thang in my head because she has some serious attitude and disrespect issues) chewing gum. Now, come on. I'm a professional educator. I can spot gum a mile away. So I asked her, "Miss Thang, are you chewing gum?" To which she merely shook her head in an incredibly guilty manner. So I said, "Open your mouth." I got a sheepish look and then she headed for the trash can to spit it out. I sent her into the hallway and spoke to her for a minute calmly about the fact that gum wasn't that big a deal, but lying was.
You'd think it would be over at this point. You'd think her friend who was ALSO chewing gum would take the opportunity while I'm not in the room to spit hers out.
Not so.
Five minutes later, I'm talking to Miss Thang #2 about her writing piece. I notice her chewing motion, so I ask her if she has gum. She shakes her head no. I send her into the hallway so we can talk about the lying. While in the hallway, she denies to me six times that she has gum in her mouth, despite the fact that I can see it and smell the minty freshness coming from her mouth. Only when I begin walking her to the office does she relent. (Thank goodness the special ed teacher arrived so I could follow through right away!)
And by relent, I mean descend into a full-out temper tantrum. She is crying hysterically, begging, pleading with me not to bring her to the office. But as far as I'm concerned, if you're going to lie to me six times about something as stupid as gum in your mouth, it's too late.
Anyway, I had to literally drag her down the hallway, fighting with me and continuing her histrionics. I'm sure any other teachers or adults in the hallway were ready to call social services on me. But honestly, I was determined to get her to the office to talk to our fantastic principal intern for a few reasons:
1. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.
2. Lying is unacceptable. She should have made the choice to tell the truth BEFORE there were consequences attached to lying.
3. I wanted her to see that a talk in the office is not as bad as she made it out to be.
So anyway. I finally got her close to the principal intern's office before she collapsed in a hyperventilating heap on the floor. In the end, the principal intern and I talked to her about her choices and she calmed down. The day went on as usual.
The point is, as teachers we often try to model the appropriate behavior or thinking strategy we want our students to exhibit. Today's exhibition by Miss Thang #2 got me thinking about honesty when it comes to adults vs. kids.
Frankly, the only difference is that adults learn when it's appropriate to lie ("Your new haircut looks great!"), whereas kids are too honest when they should lie ("You have a squishy belly, teacher!"). Adults lie all the time - "I totally sent you that email! Didn't you get it?" "Oh, I wish I could help you with that, but I'm busy that night" - but maybe we shouldn't do that so much.
Next time you get caught for something you did or didn't do, just do what I ask my students to do.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Back On Track
So... I got kinda sick this week, as I tend to do every fall. I think it's the weather change + stress + 20 small germ-infested bodies around me all day. It's the gross mucus cough/sore throat combo. Anyhoo, by Thursday afternoon I had zero voice. So on Friday, as per Hubs' suggestion, I spent most of the day on "vocal rest." I whispered to the children and asked them to be respectful of my hurt voice, and I taught in the quietest voice I know how to use. (Which isn't all THAT quiet... but whatever.)
I also got observed by my principal on Friday. This was a big deal, mostly because the man hired me after a phone interview and has never actually seen me teach. I let the kids know he was coming, in hopes that they would be on their best behavior. In the end, they behaved just like a normal day (i.e. making me repeat directions/wait for them to be quiet), which was what he wanted to see anyway. His feedback after school was really positive - so yay for me!
The real reason I titled this post the way I did is that for the first time in a while, I spent a huge block of time on a weekend purposefully planning my week. Another teacher on my team and I got together at a coffeehouse and workworkworked. As much as I would prefer to be outside on a gorgeous Saturday, the change in my mood/anxiety level is worth every second. I actually feel like I've gotten a jump on things, which is great because I am leaving town Thursday night to go home to New Orleans for weddings on Friday and Saturday.
Once I got home from planning, I actually did housework. My kitchen is actually clean and fit for cooking food. I have loved so much being out of town/having family and friends in town the past few weekends, but it's taken its toll. I'm not good at getting ahead during the school week, so I've been operating in last-minute-emergency-wing-it mode for a while.
Now that I'm actually remotely ready for the week, I don't have to push guilt/anxiety to the back of my mind before my fun portion of the weekend. Hubs and I are leaving this evening to drive to Charlotte because our beloved Saints play the Carolina Panthers tomorrow. I have missed going to Saints games every Sunday SO much; for a few years now it has been a major family pastime. Watching on tv is just not the same.
I'm just so excited to finally feel marginally on top of my game. I still have a lot more to do - unfortunately work begets work, it seems - but I am planning to let Hubs drive to Charlotte while I work in the car.
Have a great weekend and WHO DAT!
I also got observed by my principal on Friday. This was a big deal, mostly because the man hired me after a phone interview and has never actually seen me teach. I let the kids know he was coming, in hopes that they would be on their best behavior. In the end, they behaved just like a normal day (i.e. making me repeat directions/wait for them to be quiet), which was what he wanted to see anyway. His feedback after school was really positive - so yay for me!
The real reason I titled this post the way I did is that for the first time in a while, I spent a huge block of time on a weekend purposefully planning my week. Another teacher on my team and I got together at a coffeehouse and workworkworked. As much as I would prefer to be outside on a gorgeous Saturday, the change in my mood/anxiety level is worth every second. I actually feel like I've gotten a jump on things, which is great because I am leaving town Thursday night to go home to New Orleans for weddings on Friday and Saturday.
Once I got home from planning, I actually did housework. My kitchen is actually clean and fit for cooking food. I have loved so much being out of town/having family and friends in town the past few weekends, but it's taken its toll. I'm not good at getting ahead during the school week, so I've been operating in last-minute-emergency-wing-it mode for a while.
Now that I'm actually remotely ready for the week, I don't have to push guilt/anxiety to the back of my mind before my fun portion of the weekend. Hubs and I are leaving this evening to drive to Charlotte because our beloved Saints play the Carolina Panthers tomorrow. I have missed going to Saints games every Sunday SO much; for a few years now it has been a major family pastime. Watching on tv is just not the same.
I'm just so excited to finally feel marginally on top of my game. I still have a lot more to do - unfortunately work begets work, it seems - but I am planning to let Hubs drive to Charlotte while I work in the car.
Have a great weekend and WHO DAT!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Letting It Go
OK so I have been SO remiss in updating this thing, but sadly that's what happens once school gets into full swing.
And full swing it is.
At the moment, I oscillate between totally stressed out/anxious (most of the time) and unable to focus/get work done. It's a lethal combination that guarantees my being in a constant state of frenzy, either external or internal.
Most recently, this has been due to all of the "formative assessment" that our district has implemented in math and reading. For those of you not in the world of education, the purpose of a formative assessment is to inform your instruction. In other words, you take the data you gather from the assessment and use it to improve your instruction and the kids' learning. In this case, the kids take the test, and the results are scanned and available to us online the same day. Then, we spend the rest of the week doing "corrective instruction" with students who need more work and enrichment or extensions with the kids who already know the material well.
Sounds fantastic in theory, doesn't it?
Besides having issues with several aspects of the assessments (2 right answer choices, reading passages that are too long for my kids at this point, etc.) - I really do like having the data on my kids, and it enables me to better meet their needs. It's great feedback on which concepts give the kids trouble (estimation, anyone?)
Where the problem really lies is my expectations. When I look at my kids in the "red" section of scores, and how many of them it is, it gets me thinking about what I need to do to get them where they need to be. I mentally and emotionally tend to take the burden of getting them there entirely on my own shoulders. I am so competitive and driven, and it leads me to doubt myself when I see my class' scores lower than others'.
Basically, all of this converged into the following: during a data meeting with my team, two administrators, our AIG teacher, and our instructional facilitator, I lost my sh*t and cried.
So. Embarassing.
Anyway, the story has a happy ending. It comes down to the fact that I need to let go of some of the emotional burden I attach to my job. My teammates and the administration have been so supportive and positive, and I've gotten such good advice from them.
Hubs is also, of course, fantastic about it. I feel like I've been such an insane person lately - alternating between apathy and anxiety. I've got to find some balance and begin to let some of it go.
And full swing it is.
At the moment, I oscillate between totally stressed out/anxious (most of the time) and unable to focus/get work done. It's a lethal combination that guarantees my being in a constant state of frenzy, either external or internal.
Most recently, this has been due to all of the "formative assessment" that our district has implemented in math and reading. For those of you not in the world of education, the purpose of a formative assessment is to inform your instruction. In other words, you take the data you gather from the assessment and use it to improve your instruction and the kids' learning. In this case, the kids take the test, and the results are scanned and available to us online the same day. Then, we spend the rest of the week doing "corrective instruction" with students who need more work and enrichment or extensions with the kids who already know the material well.
Sounds fantastic in theory, doesn't it?
Besides having issues with several aspects of the assessments (2 right answer choices, reading passages that are too long for my kids at this point, etc.) - I really do like having the data on my kids, and it enables me to better meet their needs. It's great feedback on which concepts give the kids trouble (estimation, anyone?)
Where the problem really lies is my expectations. When I look at my kids in the "red" section of scores, and how many of them it is, it gets me thinking about what I need to do to get them where they need to be. I mentally and emotionally tend to take the burden of getting them there entirely on my own shoulders. I am so competitive and driven, and it leads me to doubt myself when I see my class' scores lower than others'.
Basically, all of this converged into the following: during a data meeting with my team, two administrators, our AIG teacher, and our instructional facilitator, I lost my sh*t and cried.
So. Embarassing.
Anyway, the story has a happy ending. It comes down to the fact that I need to let go of some of the emotional burden I attach to my job. My teammates and the administration have been so supportive and positive, and I've gotten such good advice from them.
Hubs is also, of course, fantastic about it. I feel like I've been such an insane person lately - alternating between apathy and anxiety. I've got to find some balance and begin to let some of it go.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Conundrum
I'm in a great mood right now. Why, you ask? Several reasons.
1. I just had LocalYogurt. It was delicious.
2. I have SO many fun weekends to look forward to. I figured out that I have something going on the next five weekends in a row. Plus it's football season, so... yeah.
3. I just got back from my first tap class in Chapel Hill. It was awesome and so relaxing. I love going to class because it requires me to be fully present and put all of my mental and physical energy into dancing. So I can't think about anything else that is stressing me out. Despite being quite the brain workout, it actually ends up being a brain break. Generally speaking, my brain works about a million miles an hour. I literally can't turn it off, which can be problematic. (Case in point: I've actually woken up at 3 in the morning with an entire week of lessons in my head. Thanks, dreams!) Forcing it to pay attention fully to one thing (crap! what was that step?) enables it to relax a little.
Anyway. So far I feel like I'm doing a much better job this year of balancing my work life with my life life. (This is due largely to the fact that I'm now responsible for Hubs' well being and he for mine.) In New Orleans, it was hard to force myself to go out and do stuff because it's where I've always been and where many of my friends and family live. Now that I'm in a new place (that is closer to many of my college friends I haven't seen much), I'm sort of forced to find things to do.
Here's the downside: I can't get over the guilt. I was so unfocused today, and I found myself wanting to leave as soon as school was over. Obviously, I got my plans done and did what I needed to do, but my usual obsessively-perfectionist ways are kind of not happening this week. I can't get myself motivated to workworkwork. Which is fine -- except I'm just enough of a perfectionist to be TOTALLY bothered by the fact that I'm not up to snuff.
It's so frustrating.
1. I just had LocalYogurt. It was delicious.
2. I have SO many fun weekends to look forward to. I figured out that I have something going on the next five weekends in a row. Plus it's football season, so... yeah.
3. I just got back from my first tap class in Chapel Hill. It was awesome and so relaxing. I love going to class because it requires me to be fully present and put all of my mental and physical energy into dancing. So I can't think about anything else that is stressing me out. Despite being quite the brain workout, it actually ends up being a brain break. Generally speaking, my brain works about a million miles an hour. I literally can't turn it off, which can be problematic. (Case in point: I've actually woken up at 3 in the morning with an entire week of lessons in my head. Thanks, dreams!) Forcing it to pay attention fully to one thing (crap! what was that step?) enables it to relax a little.
Anyway. So far I feel like I'm doing a much better job this year of balancing my work life with my life life. (This is due largely to the fact that I'm now responsible for Hubs' well being and he for mine.) In New Orleans, it was hard to force myself to go out and do stuff because it's where I've always been and where many of my friends and family live. Now that I'm in a new place (that is closer to many of my college friends I haven't seen much), I'm sort of forced to find things to do.
Here's the downside: I can't get over the guilt. I was so unfocused today, and I found myself wanting to leave as soon as school was over. Obviously, I got my plans done and did what I needed to do, but my usual obsessively-perfectionist ways are kind of not happening this week. I can't get myself motivated to workworkwork. Which is fine -- except I'm just enough of a perfectionist to be TOTALLY bothered by the fact that I'm not up to snuff.
It's so frustrating.
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