Monday, September 12, 2011

Conundrum

I'm in a great mood right now. Why, you ask? Several reasons.

1. I just had LocalYogurt. It was delicious.
2. I have SO many fun weekends to look forward to. I figured out that I have something going on the next five weekends in a row. Plus it's football season, so... yeah.
3. I just got back from my first tap class in Chapel Hill. It was awesome and so relaxing. I love going to class because it requires me to be fully present and put all of my mental and physical energy into dancing. So I can't think about anything else that is stressing me out. Despite being quite the brain workout, it actually ends up being a brain break. Generally speaking, my brain works about a million miles an hour. I literally can't turn it off, which can be problematic. (Case in point: I've actually woken up at 3 in the morning with an entire week of lessons in my head. Thanks, dreams!) Forcing it to pay attention fully to one thing (crap! what was that step?) enables it to relax a little.

Anyway. So far I feel like I'm doing a much better job this year of balancing my work life with my life life. (This is due largely to the fact that I'm now responsible for Hubs' well being and he for mine.) In New Orleans, it was hard to force myself to go out and do stuff because it's where I've always been and where many of my friends and family live. Now that I'm in a new place (that is closer to many of my college friends I haven't seen much), I'm sort of forced to find things to do.

Here's the downside: I can't get over the guilt. I was so unfocused today, and I found myself wanting to leave as soon as school was over. Obviously, I got my plans done and did what I needed to do, but my usual obsessively-perfectionist ways are kind of not happening this week. I can't get myself motivated to workworkwork. Which is fine -- except I'm just enough of a perfectionist to be TOTALLY bothered by the fact that I'm not up to snuff.

It's so frustrating.