You know, when you get engaged/married, many people that you meet or know try to give you marriage advice. Some of it is good - like many of the talks I've had with my mom and grandmother - and some of it is not - like the drunk middle-aged women yelling "DON'T DO IT!" at me when we went out for my bachelorette party. (Side note: seriously, how rude is that?!?)
But when it comes down to it, no one can really give you advice for your marriage because no one can really know what goes on except the two people in it. In fact, that's true of any relationship. You can really only understand it from the inside out. No two friendships, partnerships, or marriages are exactly the same.
So far, married life with Hubs is great. I'm not a gusher, but I am in awe every day of what a truly good person he is. I will say, though, it doesn't really feel that different now than it did a few months ago. Hubs has all but lived with me for a while, so I guess that makes sense. In fact, I think I saw him a lot more before he started residency, so in some ways I feel LESS married to him than a few months ago.
One difference is that I did, in fact, decide to change my name. I went back and forth about it. I feel extremely attached to my name the way it was - my middle name was my mom's maiden name, so I had both sides of my family in it. Van Horn is uncommon and unique, and everyone under the sun has called me KVH since high school. I actually already know a girl from my sorority whose name is Katie Davis, which added to my apprehensions about having both a common first and last name. With an extra initial in there already, I knew that hyphenating was out, so I was left with the choice of either changing my name or not changing it at all.
In the end, however, I took the plunge and visited the Social Security office. I made a compromise with myself, though; I didn't drop any part of my name. I kept my middle and last names as my whole middle name and made my last name Davis. It's a long mouthful, but I figure I won't have to use it most of the time. And now that I'm writing this, I realize my name is even better now. It includes my past - with both sides of my family still in there - as well as my future. Which, thankfully, is with Hubs. :)
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